Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
