You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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