How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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