My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My bed smells like the plague
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
