But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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