It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
being pregnant is like rehab
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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