You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I accidentally burped into my bong.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
