My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
as a side note pls kill me
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