"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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