He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
