Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
no, he came in my armpit
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
