Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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