She is in my trunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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