Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
