I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
