If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she woke up with a sticky ear
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
