u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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