then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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