Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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