She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
