none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
