i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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