She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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