we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
