so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
