I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
