He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
