Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
