i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
