You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
