im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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