Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
