You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
