Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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