Sry I called you an 8
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
