He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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