He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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