thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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