i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
two words...techno handjob
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
