We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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