Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
