my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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