paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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