It's Friday. Sex?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
