he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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