She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
