So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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