how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
