Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
