friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
