He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
